things haven't been the way I want it to be. I love my life, but not every part of it. sorry, God. I should've be thankful for what I am and what I'm in right now. but, not exactly now I'm feeling very thankful. I still...need lotsa things. like, **** perhaps? well, that's the highest wish. let's start from little things like, being smart or...smarter? perhaps making my parents proud? I'd love that to happen. Amin.